C'mon, Man!

Not going to be near as long as yesterday's Sports Rant, but did you see that the Canadian Women's Hockey team had to apologize for drinking beer and champagne and smoking cigars after beating the U.S. 2-0 to win the gold yesterday? Yup, they had to apologize for celebrating after winning the fucking gold medal. I don't know who's more in the wrong, Team Canada for feeling an apology was necessary or the International Olympic Committee, who got all up in arms about it and said it wasn't appropriate and wasn't what they would've liked to see from Olympic athletes. How dare they. There is absolutely nothing wrong, ever, with girls getting drunk, especially when they're hot, as many of the girls on the team are. Though I realize most of them probably hate penis.


Can I start reporting about baseball yet?

-MS

The Worst Sport On The Planet

I'm not dumb. I wouldn't be writing about women's basketball if I wasn't planning on tearing it apart in a barrage of negativity, sexist slurs, and dick jokes. So stay with me.

The UConn Huskies women's team recently extended their winning streak to 63 games. I know, my world was faltered by that news too. I know it's small potatoes compared to what ESPN usually does, but of course they expect their viewers to care about this, and they have to be all politically correct and show it for the same reason they've let Linda Cohn, that other chick that looks kinda like Linda Cohn, and the chick with the 'fro do every SportsCenter during the day. But here at QuadB, we know what you want. You don't want bitches playing basketball. You just want bitches.

Pictured: Redemption.

Not one of their wins has been a good game. Every single one of them has been won by 10+. 37 have been by more than 30. 19 have been by more than 40. Here's the kicker: THEY SELL OUT EVERY HOME GAME! Why would people go to that?! The only reason I could think of is because they want to be able to say they were at the game where the streak was broken, but UConn continues to beat the shit out of every team in the league. Here's what Tennessee coach Pat Summit (Who's yet to get her ass kicked by UConn) has to say:

"I don't give a lot of merit to the idea that Connecticut's success is bad for the game. I think the talent (for other teams) is out there. I think the talent is solid. I think it's a situation of who's going to get the best players. Connecticut has done a great job in recruiting two special players and then putting others around them who are really stepping up. They have the best players at this moment."

Yeah I don't care, either. If only someone we cared about like Ray Allen would speak about it...

"Teams in the Big East have to step up their recruiting practices. Tennessee has to figure out a way to get back and be better. The competition makes everybody great. You see what UCLA did (in men's basketball), what the Yankees have done winning 27 World Series. That's what makes rivalries and great players."

Notice he doesn't say a thing about UConn. You know why? Because he doesn't give a fuck. And it's hard to see why he would. Women's basketball has become the most irrelevant sport on Earth, and the stupid amazingly good Huskies aren't helping matters.

Now, look. I'm not hatin'. UConn deserves their billions of wins in a row. They're miles better than any other team. And it's not like I'm a women's basketball expert; I attend a university with the #11 ranked team in the nation, and haven't been to or thought about going to a single game. And trust me, if UConn was beating these teams with buzzer-beaters and close games, I still wouldn't be tuning in. I'm just saying, for those that ARE into women's ball, this can't possibly make it easy to watch.

You know what else doesn't help? How much they trick up the most minute details. Look, I'm all for breast cancer awareness. But I became aware of it 15 years ago. We all know it's there, we all know it kills people, and yet the teams have to throw pink jerseys in our face every few weeks. You know what else kills people? Bears. But you never see the girls wading through rivers and flinging salmon out of the water with their bare hands(or BEAR hands. Eh?).

In conclusion, for every interesting girls basketball game there's 5 or 6 men's games that are more interesting and on TV that night. Plus, dudes can dunk. Just sayin'.

So. Yeah. Go Cowboys.

-MS

SB XLIV - Saints 31, Colts 17

When I first set out to write this, I planned to start with a generic "wow", but this wasn't a "wow" game. This might have been the best game that ever bored the shit out of me. Perhaps the most significant note of this game is Peyton Manning being by far the best QB to ever blow a Super Bowl. Some may say it's the former joke-of-the-league New Orleans Saints winning their first SB, but meh.

Both offenses had success, but it was slow, long, torturous success. The Colts got, what, 3 plays in the second quarter? We barely got to see the star of the game; in fact the biggest play Peyton was involved in sealed the game for the other team. And we had to wait almost 55 minutes to see that interception, which was the first and only really long play of the game. And by FAR the longest TD of the game; how many times did either team score from their own 5 yardline or so? The 2nd biggest play has to be the onside kick to start the 2nd half, but in all honesty my SB party and I were watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet and missed the first 3 or 4 plays of the 3rd quarter.

One guy I am happy for is Sean Payton, the former Cowboys Offensive Coordinator whose affects are still being felt on that side of the ball and who is an almost unspoken name when it comes to the rise of Tony Romo. Don't forget: It could very well be Romo in the place of Brees tonight, as Payton tried valiantly to trade for a then 3rd-string Romo when Sean first took over at NO.

Overall the highlight was by far the Puppy Bowl at halftime. I don't know who The Who is. I know they do the "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" theme song from that show where David Caruso has sunglasses and stuff. The PB had like 15 puppies on a miniature football field chasing around toys and frolicking. It also included a Kitty Halftime Show. That's just clever.

Otherwise, yeah, who cares. This was a boring ass game until the last 5 minutes. I think Drew Brees is slightly overrated, and I also find it hard to believe that the Saints are the best team in the league when the Cowboys stomped them for 3 quarters then held off their late push. Meh, whatever, Spring Training in 12 days.

-MS