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Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Last Straw.

There are many things in this world that anger me. But only sports gets me angry enough to blog. So prepare yourself for anger and rant.


The above game was played on April 1st, 2009. This video from some reporter dude in Washington was posted on April 24, 2007. Caron Butler has been chewing on straws during games since he was playing AAU ball in 1998, and that includes two years with the Heat, one with the Dirty Lakers, and five with the Wizards. There was a national story on TNT in 2008 about his habit, in which Barkley and friends had Butler close his eyes and identify which of the straws they gave him was from McDonalds (he correctly identified it before even having to chew on it). That's 8 years of well-publicized straw-chewing. But he wasn't playing for the Mavericks during that time.

With yesterday's big stories in the NFL and MLB being new blood testing for HGH or something, the NBA and David Stern had better things to do. As of around 5ish yesterday, Caron has been banned from chewing straws while playing. That's right. Perhaps the most harmless habit in the history of the NBA gets banned, because Butler is now playing for Stern's favorite owner, Mark Cuban.

It's being called a "safety issue." Didn't seem to be a safety issue the first eight years he did it, though. I guess they think that, hypothetically, the straw could poke someone in the eye. I promise you more people have been poked in the eye by fingers than by Butler's straws, so I expect fingers to be banned from NBA play soon.

But I digress. Seriously. This is ridiculous. Could Stern be a little more obvious with how much he has it out for the Mavs? It's already been claimed by Tim Donaghy that the 2006 Finals were fixed (but I didn't need Donaghy to convince me. Shoot another 20 free throws, D-Wade) all because the NBA and NBA referees don't like Cuban. I love Mark, I think he's up there with Troy Aikman and Nolan Ryan as some of the best things to ever happen to Dallas sports, but it's getting to the point where I don't know if the Mavs can win a championship under him. Certainly not because he's not a good enough owner; he's undisputedly one of the best in the league. And certainly not because the team isn't good enough; they were better than Miami in 2006, but it's hard to beat a team when their star player can trip on his own feet and be rewarded with free throws. But with all he's done (which, in reality, is telling the truth, albeit loudly), and all the bridges he's burned, plus with the Mavs' star being a 7-foot German white guy who can't dunk or handle the ball or yack his mouth with the likes of Kobe, LeBron, and Dwade (making Dirk less marketable), if they're able to get back to the Finals who's to say 2006 doesn't happen all over again. It's hard to win a series when you're battling a good team along with the refs.

I think it'd be awesome if every single one of the Mavs came out on the court chewing straws when they play the Hawks Friday, but that won't happen, because they're not angry bloggers. The story's so fresh that Cuban hasn't really been able to speak about it yet, but I can't wait until he gets the opportunity. F David Stern. Peace.

-MS

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